The things I subject myself to..

Earlier this year I was asked to participate in a little production at work which was going to be used as BodogTV's April Fools Joke.. Since the company is pretty much going under right now and we are all on 'working notice' aka laid off, we are all busy updating our portfolios and going through old projects.. I stumbled upon this one.. It's definitely good for a few laughs, at me that is!

Here was the show's trailer...

And the bloopers...

It took about 5 months for dozens of people at work to stop greeting me screaming "ICE CREAM SANDWICHHHHH!!"

Oh the humility.. There are some things at Bodog I will not miss.

No One.. No One.. Does it better than you, Miss Alicia Keys..

Wow... I'd been waiting many years for the opportunity to see Alicia Keys in concert.. 

And last night it finally happened!  

12th row floor at the Orpheum Theatre. Amazing.

Now, I know there are a few haters out there at the moment thinking AK is a man stealer and all.. You know, I mean the whole Swizz Beatz thing.. Whatever.. Do what you gotta do girl..If ya did it who cares.. and if you didn't well even better cause you are young and famous and fabulous and can get any man wayyy better than that fool... But I ain't gunna hold it against ya.. You do yer thang.. Whoever it may be..

As for the show, Miss Alicia threw it down last night.. I mean seriously.. The girl...can sing! And play the piano.. Damn can she ever play the piano... The only thing negative I have to say about her performance... Oh my gosh, please woman take some dance lessons.. Your dancing.. is not so smooth. Those choreographed dance routines with your back up singers- straight outta Dream Girls... Why? It wasn't even cool in the movie..  Oh wait, and you attempting to dance all sexy-like with that black handkerchief.  That was probably the worst seducing I've ever seen in my life! BUT because you are so freakin amazing to listen to, I am willing to cut you a deal.. I will completely disregard your poor dancing abilities for the simple promise that next time I see you.. you ain't gunna be doin none of that awful white girl booty shakin again, ok. Now do we have ourselves a deal?

You see I love music.. I live for it.. I believe this world would be a really hateful, horrible place without it... I love music that's raw and emotional and really draws from it's original roots.. And Alicia seems to know how to perfectly blend and incorporate this into her sound... I'm not sure how, but she does it and she does it well.. I don't have much more to say about her performance other than I really freaking loved it and I wished it weren't over so quickly.. I'm sure you've all seen her perform live on TV on music award shows and such.. So just imagine how amazing witnessing her perform for an hour and a half live from like 15 feet away would be.. That's right, Incredible.

Top 20 Reasons Why You Probably Sleep Solo...

So I've been doing a bit of people watching lately... And I thought I would attempt to help some of you guys by compiling a top 20 list of my observations as to why I believe you very likely are single, despite your best efforts.. 

1.  You walk around wearing Affliction, Christian Audigier, and Ed Hardy shirts thinking you are incredibly hardcore and original.. but being a guy, you don't even realize 4 other guys around you are wearing the exact same thing.. and did you notice the only girls who are trying to pick you up are strippers, because they are gold digging little whores who know if you spent $200 on a t-shirt, then you will likely eventually pay to get their lips, boobs, or nose done.. but if thats all you are looking for, well then.. congratulations, I guess.

2.  You are the epitome of douche-baggery.  If you don't know what that means, well then you definitely are a douche bag.

3.  You are over 30 years old and live at home still.. And not for any good reason, other than the fact you are a lazy, free-loading, SOB with no life ambitions.  So, oh so sexy.

4.  You smoke.  And not just when you drink, but all the time.  Sorry, that is gross...

5.  You have poor hygiene. (ie. bad teeth, breath, skin, nails, nose hair, ear hair, chest hair.. Yuck!)

6.  You haven't worked out in a very long time, and it's quite noticeably apparent.

7.  You are a ridiculous drunk.  

8.  You're friends are ridiculous drunks, or just straight up ridiculous and perverted.

9.  You think it's cool to brag the next day about how hung over you are, how drunk you were, etc... WE DON'T CARE!

10.  You don't drive, or you do drive but it is illegally because you have actually lost your license from a DUI and/or speeding tickets..

11.  You laugh at your own jokes.. and you are the only one laughing.

12.  You think the bar is a wicked place to pick up.

13.  You are still technically married.

14.  You have children that you don't even take care of, or you lie about not having any at all.

15.  You are homophobic.  Seriously, get over yourself.  Not every gay man wants you, and in fact no gay men probably even want you considering their standards are often higher than straight women's!

16.  You think flowers are necessary only when you do something wrong.

17.  You still think eyes are located on breasts.  

18.  You believe winking is sexy.

19.  Your idea of a romantic gesture is making someone a mix cd of club anthems..

And last but not least... 

20.  You carry a Murse.. aka Man Purse.  For the love of god, please just don't.  What the hell are you carrying in there anyways- tampons and lipgloss? 

Fella's... if any of the above has applied to you in any way, do yourself and us ladies a favor and read a copy of Cosmopolitan magazine.. Go ask your sister or mom to borrow theirs!! Please, we are begging you!

Who ever said geeks don't got game?

Recently came across these 3 geeky gamer type guys.. I guess they're known as this group called Tripod and actually go on tour performing comedy-type shows.. 

This song's pretty funny.. Check it...Tripod

Aids Walk For Life

On Sunday, September 21st I'll be taking part in this year's Aids Walk for Life. It's a 10 km walk around Stanley Park's seawall or a 2.5 km walk around Lost Lagoon. All of the money raised for the event is used to help British Columbians infected with HIV/Aids and their families.  

This particular issue hits home for my family and I.  We lost a loved one to an Aids related illness 15 years ago.  A cure needs to be developed so hundreds of families in Canada do not have to lose someone they love each year.

Do your part and help by making a donation on my fundraising page, or better yet register for the event and participate in the walk as well!

For more information regarding the event please visit www.bcpwa.org

I also encourage you to take a look at the Canadian Association For Aids Research website. You'll likely be shocked to learn the statistics regarding the number of Canadians affected by this disease. Tens of thousands of people in the world die everyday from HIV/Aids, and it's time we help put a stop to it.  www.canfar.ca

Supernatural somethin or another..

Incredible doesn't even begin to describe what was witnessed this evening.  I have to argue when Carlos Santana named one of his album titles "Supernatural", he was most certainly being a modest man.  This was my second time seeing Santana, both times have been with my Dad. Santana has to be up in his list of top all-time artists along with Jimi Hendrix, John Lee Hooker, Eric Clapton (who's show we also went to see together), Buddy Guy, Led Zeppelin, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.  Tonight's performance was unreal.  I find it so amazing a man now in his 60's is able to put on just as high energy of a show as he did 30 years ago.  I've seen some footage.. It's true, he hasn't slowed down one bit.

What's truly inspiring is how he stands for so much more than the magical music he creates with that guitar of his. He is a visionary artist and a huge advocate for world peace. He shows great pride and appreciation of the power every person has within them and makes a solid effort to communicate this to his fans.  He wants to empower everyone at his shows to recognize this in themselves and to use it, creating unity in the world we share.  He paused the show a couple times last night to speak of some things he believes our world could use more of.. what we as people of this earth should remember to stand for each day.. Serenity, sincerity, peace, and compassion in everything we put our minds to and how we treat one another.

Looking around the stands, I couldn't help but notice such a vast array of people in attendance. The entire Spanish community of British Columbia must have been there, but there were a few other characters I was a bit surprised to see.  The guy sitting next to me looked like he just walked out of an H.A. Clubhouse, tattooed from neck to fingers.. There were also a lot of grey hairs there, understandable being that his music became famous worldwide in the early 60's, even performing at Woodstock with Hendrix.  Some days I really wish I were 10 or 20 years older so I could have seen some of history's most talented artists play live.  Luckily, my Dad got to see almost all of the greats, so I get to hear all about his experiences from their shows..  Sometimes we'll sit in his basement and play old records, drink beer, and if I'm lucky a song will come on that reminds him of one time when he saw that particular band.   So cool, I live for those stories of his..

Anyways, as usual I digress... Did I mention the show was incredible?!  It really was! Perhaps even better than the first time I saw him about 4 or 5 years ago. Oh right, I can't forget about those definitely deserving honorable mentions.. I've gotta give a shout out to front row "crazy arms" Asian lady.. You are the best dancer I've ever seen, well almost as good as Seinfeld's  Elaine Benes... But let me tell you, you made paying those Ticketmaster service charges well worth it. Also I don't know which was more amazing, Carlos Santana or the super adorable 50-something year old lady in the black mini cocktail dress in the 2nd row rocking out hardcore on the "air keyboard".. Highlight of my year, I swear! I've seen some serious air guitar, air drums, etc.. But air keyboard, that was a must see.  I tried to take a picture of her for proof of this once in a lifetime phenomenon, but unfortunately it didn't turn out.  Annddd, I guess I should probably mention the ABSOLUTELY FREAKING OUT OF THIS WORLD almost 10 minute long drum solo.  Now this drummer had to be close to 300 lbs, but he blew Tommy Lee up.  Sorry Tommy, you are gorgeous and I love you and you are also an incredible drummer, but this guy gets my vote. Holy crap he was amazing. 

Overall, the show was outstanding! As was to be expected.. Carlos Santana is really such an extraordinary artist.. It's no wonder he can collaborate with pretty much anyone he wants. And his 12 piece band most definitely deserved to be up on that stage with him... I could have done without the opening act "The Salvador Santana Band". The Salvador guy couldn't sing and was pretty annoying acting all "thug like" but his keyboard playing was alright.  The best part of the entire night though was experiencing how Carlos Santana's music brings so many people from different walks of life together.. Including my Dad and I.. Music is one thing we have always strongly bonded over and share most in common.. And it was really nice to be able to spend the night in the company of my father, all while getting to watch together one of world music's great legends doin what he does best.. makin that guitar cry  ;)

Oh, self obsessed Tyra..

Even if you don't really want to admit it, it's ok, we already know you were watching the premiere of America's Next Top Model last night.  I am woman enough to admit it, I have been a loyal viewer since pretty much the first season..err..I mean, cycle.. 

Btw..Does anyone even know why it's called a cycle? Is it to recap and promote, "Watch yet another season of wayyyy too many skinny bitches pms-ing, living in one house, and competing for a career in professional narcissism"?  Yea, I bet that's probably why it's called a cycle..

Anyhow, I do love this show. And when I say love, I actually mean for 1 hour a week (or last night's case 2 hours) I become distracted from things I should be doing and get stuck staring slack-jawed at my tv screen as if it's just been in some horrific car wreck.. Usually this hour is highlighted by me doing some obscene name calling and yelling at Tyra through my television about how she is such an eff'n moron.  The cheese seriously just drips off that woman, I don't know how she can even stand herself.

Last night's show ended up being pretty good... Ok, "good" might be a bit of a strong word, but the episode was somewhat bearable after they stopped acting like robots and chasing after each other like wildlife in an attempt to model running "fiercely".  Seriously, wtf was that about.

All that aside, I really am proud of the little tranny girl..boy..whichever.. Isis.  Her pic turned out really great, and you would never have even known she was actually a he in the photo.  I'm happy to see our pop culture is starting to somewhat reflect the real people out there in the world.  Times have changed and sexual identity crisis or not, Isis is proving herself to be pretty damn "fierce".

The rest of the show was filled with a bunch of the other girls being afraid of the tranny and going out of their way to be mean to he/her.  At this point, I kinda stopped paying attention until it was time to tell the first girls of Cycle 11, "I'm sorry, but you are not going to be America's Next Top Model".  One of those girls being the bright Harvard grad that majored in American Literature.  Who when asked to show Tyra how certain famous characters or writers might pose, she had NO idea who Tyra was even talking about.  Way to go Harvard, maybe you could also offer a course in educational retention.   

God, I love this show.  It makes me feel far more intelligent than I give myself credit for... 

And now for pure entertainment's value, here is a clip of Tyra at more than likely her finest self obsessed moment.  It's always about you Tyra, always about you.  

Do you wanna be on top?? 

Umm. No, thanks.  I think I'll pass on the free ride to Tyra's crazy town.

Time to get serious now kids..

I drive in to work most mornings down Hastings Street into downtown Vancouver and it saddens me to see the things I do so early in the morning. Well any time of day it upsets me, but for whatever reason it does even more so in the morning.  It looks like a homeless flea market out there, except the only things for sale are stolen goods, drugs, and sex.

Every morning I see the same people.  Hanging around the same corners.

The homeless, mentally ill, and drug addicted.  Looking lost.  Hopeless.  Wandering or jumping into the middle of the streets, sometimes already looking for their next fix.  Although you really can't tell if they are still high from the night before, or if they have already woken up and taken a hit.  Nonetheless it's awful to realize this is all their lives have resorted to.  I don't know what is worse, the fact they have given up on themselves completely and have no regard for anyone because drugs have taken over all logic they may have possessed at some point or the mystery of what horrible things may have happened to them along life's way to allow themselves to believe they're not worth more than this lifestyle.

This morning I encountered a man who was out cold on the side walk on Richards at Cordova St.  And I mean he was out cold, I totally thought the guy was dead.  Now people, how effing heartless are you that you will literally walk RIGHT OVER TOP of a guy who appears motionless on the sidewalk at 10 in the morning????  WTF is wrong with you?  If the guy hadn't looked a bit scrubby and instead was wearing regular clothing or a business suit, you would have stopped to see if he was ok, wouldn't you???  But no, for whatever selfish reasonings you did not even bat an eye at this guy who for all you know could have been dead.

Now, I am a believer in most cases that yes, people are generally responsible for the decisions they make and where those decisions may end up taking them.  But there comes a point where it gets out of their control, and it is our responsibility as human beings to recognize these people need help and to do something to help them. Do anything.  Like for instance, at least taking 1 minute out of your day to call an ambulance to make sure this guy on the sidewalk isn't a goner.  But I guess everyone else had another emergency to tend to or something else far more important to do this morning, so don't worry I took care of it for you.  And incase you were wondering, the guy is alive, but would have died if he had remained unconscious for much longer according to the paramedics.  

I guess I don't understand how people think anymore.  If we just ignore them, will they eventually just disappear?  It's as if they believe drug addiction and overdose is another way of population control.  Like it's no big deal to let these people slowly kill themselves. But unlike the pipes and needles which rule most of their lives, these people are not disposable.  They are PEOPLE, you know, HUMAN BEINGS! And they deserve to be treated as humanely as you and I do. 

I think we all need to take some time to remember that like us, every single one of them out there is also someone's child.

So even if you have no desire to donate some of your time or money to a charity or send some old clothes to a shelter or church, at least promise me this- have enough decency to call an ambulance next time you see someone who may need medical attention.  You don't have to try to help them yourself and in fact I don't recommend it, but at least show 2 ounces of compassion and care for someone who needs it.  After all, you don't know what's happened unless you've walked in their shoes and you never know one day if or when it may be you who needs the help.

Karma is a bitch my friend. 

Noon is the new 9.

With recent changes to my job status, I've been doing a bit more thinking than usual.  I've come to a some conclusions which perhaps I was already slightly aware of, but maybe had not shared with others.

Here goes...

A)  I am NOT a morning person.  Despite my cheerful demeanor when I arrive to work, I would function much more willingly and efficiently if I were able to commence work at say... noon. And dressed in my pajamas or gym clothes. Thus allowing me to sleep in or run early morning errands whenever I felt like it.

B)  In the late I've gone a very random direction career-wise.  Just over a year ago I was working in a post production office for a Music label and TV shows, and somehow I've ended up a production manager for a design dept creating web ads for a gambling site?  And all within the same company.. I can't quite figure that one out.. especially being that my background and education lay in Event Production, Broadcast Journalism and Media Communications.. 

Hmm.?

C)  My next move will be as far away from online gaming as possible, as to never cross paths with it again even accidently.  Perhaps I should go work in a church or at a hospital or for a non profit organization, that would be the best way to handle that. Kidding.

D)  I have the attention span of an incredibly dumb puppy. Pretty much none at all. I can't focus long enough to read an email or to update a cover letter, but I sure can sit and type blogs for hours!!  Wait.. I guess that means, I can focus on things I want to do but don't give a shit about the things I should be doing.  Well.. I'm glad I cleared up that confusion.

E)  Oh.. and I am looking into a way to make money while I sleep.  I know there has to be a way, and I think I've almost figured it out.  I've always just seen those 6-8 hours I'm dead to the world as such a waste of time.  And time is money as they say.. Whoever "they" are...  So when I determine exactly how it is I will make cash to pay my bills as I peacefully slumber, I will let you know ;)

Now taking all into account I think it is apparent... I would be happiest working for myself.

Wind.

the brink of possibility... 

losing grip you sway this way and that, all the while struggling to maintain somewhat a graceful composure.. 

you breath in, in an attempt to regain balance..

the air holding the crispness of autumn nearing.. you are re-acquainted..  

breathing deeper you force your lungs to pull and stretch until they are screaming at you to exhale...

instead, you stop. you hold your breath. 

you are not ready to let go of that familiar scent.. that air you have come to know yet still seem to fear.. 

brought on by the wind.. never clear of it's direction..

the air of change.