Lately I've been doing the whole life analyzing bit.. Well, more like life observing I guess.. I'm going through a few major changes at this current time, and for once I'm not entirely focused on worrying if what I am doing with myself is the right thing.. I'm just sort of letting it play itself out.. I find it kind of odd, that when choosing the color of the new car I was buying I probably consulted at least 6 to 10 different people's opinions on the color I liked before I decided to actually go with it.. And the color was a shade of white, and technically isn't even a real color..but whatever... So then it comes to some decisions I am facing right now which are more so, lets say.. life altering.. And I am for once just kinda goin with the flow...
Now anyone reading this who knows me, knows that this goin with the flow thing is slightly unusual for me... I have been known to be a total stress case from time to time.. And usually always over things of which I have no control... Might be because I am a Leo.. or maybe because I am a type D personality (according to that Myers Briggs personality type test thingy).. Or it's just because I am a controlling beeotch with a mild case of OCD.. But I feel that none of those are the case right now... I am suddenly seeing things a whole lot differently than ever before... I have made many steps in the past year to change the focus of my life.. To learn to live more simply and to enjoy some of the smaller more fulfilling things life has to offer... To make more of an effort to show other people what they mean to me and how they have an effect on my life... To slow down and appreciate my accomplishments to date.. And at the same time, not slow down enough that I become bored and then in turn over analyze things even more so.. The key really is to find that certain balance between go time, play time, and down time.. And looking back on past years, I'd been approaching things in an entirely wrong way.. Well not entirely, but certainly not as beneficially as I could have been...
I find it so amazing how certain people can enter your life, or even exit for that matter at the most appropriate of times.. I have had the pleasure of a few people coming into my life who have been the most incredible influences on me... I have been motivated beyond belief, and given that extra boost I needed to tackle some really huge goals for myself.. These people know who they are, and they mean the world to me.. I really feel like I have been blessed and given this new opportunity to re-create my entire world.. And it certainly is a refreshing awareness which I am extremely grateful for..
Over the next few months many more changes will be taking place in my world... At first encounter with them I was pretty disheartened by what I was going to be up against.. And I was having a really hard time seeing the reason why these things were happening... But I have now gotten over the initial shock and have learned to embrace the potential they have to teach me... Strength, deeper intuition, humbleness, grace, and so forth.. They truly are opportunities for me to use and grow from.. I cannot stress enough what the importance of patience has taught me.. If you let things sit long enough, you will eventually learn why they are, what you can take away from them, and how you can apply these new teachings to your life and help others to as well.. So after all these years of over thinking and worrying about things I have no control over, I have just started to let them go.. And what I've learned from this is that letting go is the farthest thing from giving up.
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